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 The realization of one's place in the family.

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mannequin
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PostSubject: The realization of one's place in the family.   Mon Mar 30, 2015 9:09 pm

The upcoming young adult must not underestimate the reality of social Darwinism in respect to his/her own family if one is to desire personal development. One must early realize that the significance of parents and siblings become less relevant after a specific age. If one is to subject themselves or be subjected to prolonged maternity or paternity this will eventually stunt the growth of the individual and prevent development of a sense of self.

The young adult must realize the reality of Empty nest syndrome and Munchausen syndrome, and how much it actually applies to his/her current circumstances if they are still living at home with their parents. Approaching the late teens, one must now start to suspect, and look upon those around him/her with a suspicious eye.

One must not fall into the mindless drivel of humanity and unconditional love in the family bonding context, and not allow his/her voice of reason to place themselves into a naive optimism creating a very self deprecating mindset. This makes one increasingly vulnerable to the reality of sibling rivalry and could result in a lifetime of a low sense of self, or worse, complete destruction.

If one has found themselves in such a situation, then one must blatantly reverse the condition immediately, or risk being fed on their entire lives by those around you, those who you have convinced yourself profess some kind of undying love for you in the context of social support and natural eternal allegiance. Such foolish understandings will render one a victim in their own family where they will be used as a stepping stone for the other to succeed, or to maintain.

Said victim will be laughed at and continuously subjected to snide and demeaning remarks, often directly or passive aggressively in an attempt to sustain victimization of the individual. Such manipulation is necessary to continue the feed and to prevent the realization of one's own power and personal development, which is secretively feared by those around the victim. The victim will appear weak and valueless, and will not be taken serious and will often be subjected to patronising manipulative behaviour.

Before one breaks free from such an abusive environment, one must accept all this as a reality, an unchanging one, other than a slight subside due to old age. One can possibly forgive but must never forget lest the situation repeat, even such forgiveness must be an act from a distance or the close proximity of the act expressed will be regarded as the same naive optimism expressed as a victim.

One must not allow the losing of their mind after being subjected to prolonged manipulative abuse. Breaking free does not only apply in the physical context, but the mental too, as a means for complete independent development.

In such a circumstance, and if one is financially capable, it is wise to separate absolutely and cut all ties, and to fully embrace self improvement. If one is not financially capable but has the means to physically escape the situation, then it is encouraged, but strategically maintain contact. One much learn how to use such contact for self development exclusively, a resource to be used, if necessary, to maintain oneself. One can consider it to be a reciprocation, not necessarily a reciprocation of abuse, but rather tactful use to aid their new conscious self respecting outlook towards life.

What are your thoughts on such abusive situations? Or have you experienced something similar in your personal life?
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Erik

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PostSubject: Re: The realization of one's place in the family.   Mon Mar 30, 2015 9:34 pm

Interesting topic. I recently mentioned something germane to it: how the ancient Greek mono-myth of royal investiture has a motif of vehement separation from the maternal framework, symbolized as a battle/conflict with a female monster, e.g., Medusa, the Sphinx, etc.

Mothers, by instinct, do not want their children to depart from them, not necessarily from malice, but from motherly love. The child has to forcefully severe this maternal relationship, in order to reach full adulthood.

The Spartans would separate children from their mothers at the tender age of 6-7! And from then, they would spend their days around other boys and men. Their world-framework was entirely masculine and militaristic.

It's very important for kids to have a father figure in their life, esp. boys. The current culture seeks arduously to rid the father from family. It's an anti-masculine, anti-male ethos we are living in today. When I have a son, I will raise him to be ultra-masculine, not only for his own well-being; but also to stick a middle-finger up to the system.

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Erik

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PostSubject: Re: The realization of one's place in the family.   Tue Mar 31, 2015 9:14 am

Did you go through this, mannequin?

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mannequin
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PostSubject: Re: The realization of one's place in the family.   Wed Apr 01, 2015 1:14 am

Erik wrote:
Did you go through this, mannequin?

Hmm not entirely, or not as severely, but to a certain extent, I guess so. I think most people experience it to some degree or another. It would apply more to my brothers than myself.

I was the third born and fairly different in nature to the rest of my family. I'm naturally quite passively dismissive in real life, not really emotionally sensitive and just, generally, done my own thing. This disposition naturally makes it difficult to be affected by such family circumstances because you actually have to be somewhat emotionally needy or insecure for it to play a major role in your life.

However, It definitely applies to my brothers, mother and father. I've observed a lot of psychological manipulation going on around me growing up between family members, and it still applies to this very day.

My oldest brother didn't move out until he was about 30 years old. He was her first son, which is always the most difficult to let go of from the mother's perspective, some could say it would be the last child, but not in my family it was definitely the first son.

I observed a lot of strange games going on between them and still do. She kept him there for most of his life mollycoddling him into his early thirties. He's now very immature, jaded with a lot repressed anger, and displays slight psychotic behaviour. He is constantly passive aggressive towards my mother whenever they are around each other, always giving her verbal abusive jabs.

My two brothers also hate each other, they don't talk to each other and are drowned in sibling rivalry, always competing over trivial petty things. They had a few fights in the past and now, whenever they are around each other, they don't make any eye contact. It's so typical and awkward.

My father was the typical weak nice guy type who got all his value from being married to my mother. When she decided to divorce him back in the day, his life took a drastic turn downwards, I guess he couldn't adapt and so decided to drink to deal with his situation. His physical and mental health deteriorated over the years until he finally decided to commit suicide by jumping off a building. It didn't greatly affect me personally though as the divorce took place when I was around 1 years old, and I only has a basic on/off relationship with him for a few years during my late teens.

I think my family just thinks I'm weird or something as I have always been  switched on to things and never really been taken by any of it. I'm the fairly laid back rational quiet type in my personal life, a bit of stoner too. That's why it was so fun to play the Mannequin role at first because it was a character so unlike myself, the internet gave me the opportunity to experiment in different ways with people.

The Mannequin was a hypersensitive, bi polar feminine boy with gender identity issues developed after being exposed to a culture of feminization. He was silly and childish, and would exaggerate dramatic reactions, easily manipulated or so it would seem, which would invite trouble. Then he would flip it up, turn it all around and respond from unexpected angles, argue intelligently and rationally, outwit everybody with clever remarks mixed with threats of real life violence, then finally returning back to being a cute feminine boy. Ha! I did it for years, so much fun!..

I've since relaxed the Mannequin character now though, as it is no longer enjoyable or interesting to me. Over the years of my online participation I've come to realise I enjoy philosophical discussions with people, and there is much benefit in serious contribution, so now I'm running with that...
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PostSubject: Re: The realization of one's place in the family.   Mon Apr 13, 2015 6:58 am

This thread makes a whole lot of sense now lol.

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PostSubject: Re: The realization of one's place in the family.   Mon Apr 13, 2015 8:15 am

Smile
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mannequin
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PostSubject: Re: The realization of one's place in the family.   Mon Apr 13, 2015 9:46 am

I'm looking forward to reading about your experiences, Erik.
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